This statement is the epitome of fighting reality. The bottom line is unpleasant things do happen. These painful experiences are designed to bring us back to higher realms of peace. And resisting the unbearable is part of the first stage of grief. It’s called shock. This includes dizzying confusion and is natural & normal. It’s your psyches way of protecting you. It provides some relief to recognize what stage you are currently experiencing. Simply identifying the emotion, relieves it to some degree.
Stages of Grief: SHOCK, DENIAL, ANGER, DEPRESSION, GUILT, ACCEPTANCE and down the road, transcending JOY. Usually in this order and yet years later, I will experience residue of grief again in no particular order at all. The grieving process isn’t over in one pass and may surface again years later, perhaps triggered by an anniversary or the Holidays. Though, it tends to be less intense each time it comes back around. This just means there is more residue to welcome and release. Embracing your emotions will leave you free of the heavy affects of unprocessed despair.
5 Quick steps to Release Grief
1.Close your eyes & scan your body. Notice, with curiosity, how you are feeling right this moment.
2. Allow the feeling free of any thoughts you have about it. Feel the energy, the power in the feeling.
3. Feel love for the feeling just the way it is. Feel love for the energy/power in the feeling.
4. Feel love for yourself feeling the feeling and feeling the power in the feeling.
5. Notice the energy in the feeling vibration. Just for now let go of feeling labels and enjoy the process of feeling.
Every feeling is some aspect of joyfulness. Don’t take my word for it. Give yourself to the 5 step formula above.
“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with it’s yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart.
You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt,or death brushes near,
let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness.
Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”
– Excerpt from A Painted Drum by Louise Erdrich