We all have relationships. We relate to not only our family, friends, co workers and pets but our surroundings our selves and even the universe. With all this practice you’d think we’d be good at relationships. However, in my work with supporting others – relationship is hands down the biggest issue affecting us today. Unfortunately, driving you to avoid the madness with what Pema Chodrin calls habitual escapism – overeating/drinking, internet surfing, shopping, media or isolating on a regular basis. Keeping us from growing personally and connecting compassionately with our loved ones.
Your Relationships are Merely Mirrors of You
Deepok Chopra shares a sobering exercise. Join me in this revealing 3 minute adventure.
- Divide a sheet of paper into 2 halves.
- List the name of a person you would NOT want to go to Hawaii with.
- List his/her personality traits that really, really bug you. Go ahead, no one is looking. Do you have at least 3?
- Now choose a person that you absolutely adore. On the other half of the sheet list their many wondrous qualities.
Let’s take a look at the sobering side first. That which you dislike about another, you had to have seen in yourself, no matter how minutely, at some time in your life. Take a moment and let that sink in, keeping in mind that you are, in fact, perfect, whole and complete in spite of your thwarted view. On the other side of the equation, that which you love about another are the very qualities which represent the truth of who you really are. Yes, take that in. You are all the wonder you see in your friend and so much more.
You cannot love or hate something about another unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.